SURFING DIARIES

ON RESILIENCE, THE IMPERMANENCE OF SUCCESS & HUMILITY…
WHEN THE BOARD BECOMES THE MAT

An attempt at putting my surfing meditations into sequences of words.

At first there is this romantic idea of jumping into the water in the early hours of the day as the sun rises. Then, there is the reality of it: the nice, smooth, perfect wave will not be there simply waiting for me to ride it. It will take some work, some hard work to perhaps, maybe find it. It will take paddling out until my shoulders burn, feeling my heart drumming against the board. It will take liters of water trying to push me away & countless knocks on the knees to get back on the board. It will take wanting to give up with every ‘washing machine’ rolling my body away in uncontrolled directions & still paddling harder to go past them… Eventually, I may be granted a few moments of virtual release when I am finally out & able to sit up to catch my breath.

Virtual release only because if & when the right wave comes, I would have to be on it. ‘Have to’ because the ocean does not give you “I’ll skip the vinyasa & go straight back to downward dog”. The ocean does not give you “Take a moment in child’s pose if you need a break”. It keeps rolling no matter what & you can either attempt to ride along it or let it gently show you the Exit sign (aka the beach). Try to resist it or beat it at its game and you’ll have your breakfast tea served a little extra salty.

Yet, I rarely experience a feeling as exhilarating as what happens when I finally stand up on this piece of resin, gliding over water… It is pure joy, pure sensations, something I connect with the playfulness of childhood. Surfing is like no other sport I have ever experienced. You can spend countless hours of physical & mental efforts that will only lead you to be ruled over by the ocean, making you question “What am I doing here?!”. Yet, sit on your board watching the endless ocean with a buddy by your side or catch one wave and all the tiredness & efforts will vanish into “OK, just one more”!

This brought me to think about success. Tell anyone you have been surfing and the question that immediately comes up is: “Were you able to stand up?” So I guess if I answer YES to this, I can consider myself successful, right? But what if success to me was not necessarily to stand up but simply to allow myself this special time out in the water, away from work & the daily routine? Or, what if – like my friend Maria on that day – success was overcoming the fear of being amongst these bigger waves? Or, what if – like Rachel on another day – success was trying something new regardless of your age? Would all these things be less valuable than standing up on the board?!

What if we could stop measuring success by the things that we DO and define it instead by how we FEEL?

As I was reflecting on all this in the middle of the water, I actually managed to catch a wave & properly ride it. Not only was this one of my few “green wave”, it was my first right wave (I’m a lefty). This to me, in that moment, felt like success! Not because of the words you just read & the image they drew in your head. It felt like success because it made me feel that I COULD; that despite not having surfed for a while, I was able to LEARN & PROGRESS. It felt like success because I was able to do something I love, in a magical place & share it with people I care about.

Wanna know the best part of it? Not even ten seconds after jumping off the board full of excitement, I got totally smashed in the face by the next wave coming! It was so perfect it made me laugh even more… What better reminder of the impermanence of success than this? What better lesson of humility lectured by the Ocean? I could almost hear it: “hey, I’m glad you had fun but remember who’s in charge here!”.

In my yoga classes I always encourage my students to celebrate their successes, whatever they may be. I also try to make them aware that achieving something on a day is somewhat disconnected to what they may or may not be able to do the following day and that it's OK. This comes by no means from an intention to diminish anyone’s accomplishments. Rather I see it as a reminder that our bodies, our capacities, our environment are constantly in movement. It is an encouragement to value first & foremost the moments, the successes, the challenges we are experiencing NOW, acknowledging their beauty & their impermanence all together.

The good news is that the moon will keep on rising, the waves will keep on rolling & with them, we get to keep on playing.

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